My lovely readers…
Let me start with an apology. For I know I have not been a great blogger over the past few months. Some of you may wonder why. After all, I did graduate from my LLB (with flying colours ;-)) so my life should have been a lot easier since then, right? Wrong.
But let us not start my first post for 2014 on a negative. Let me tell you what I have been up to in the last few months since graduation. I have been dreaming.
Funny things they are… dreams I mean. Those dreams that you are pursuing since God knows what age and then you come to a point in your life when you say to yourself, ‘Hang on a minute.’ How long did I actually spend enjoying that last moment? That moment when I got a First Class Degree in Law. That moment when I got two awards for my academic achievements. That moment when I got a (dream) job in a Law firm. That moment when I met that amazing person and got to be their friend. A day? A week? A month? How long did it actually take me before I set myself yet another goal and set my eyes on it, ignoring everything else on my way as ‘less important’.
Someone clever once said that we spend too much of our time dwelling on the past and dreaming of the future while the present moment slips away unnoticed. Have you ever found yourself so focused on ‘the next big thing’ in your life that you failed to notice all those ‘little things’? The little things that added together to make you happy. I imagine you have. As humans, we often feel uneasy about ‘living for the moment’ without any plans for the future. For if we did not have any plans, then our life would have less meaning to it. And in many ways I cannot agree more with this, being someone that has had my whole life built on goals. Goals I have set for myself and goals I have achieved. But how sweet have those achievements been when there has always been another goal to follow? A bigger, more meaningful goal.
The point is, my dear readers that I got a bit tired of living this kind of life. I never felt entirely happy or entirely complete because I was always contemplating what my life would be once I got past that next hurdle. Be it getting a First Class Degree, passing that BLP exam on the LPC or securing that allusive training contract. In fact, I can sadly admit that I had gotten so obsessed with that goal of mine, that I found myself wrapped in a ‘bubble’ whereby no distractions were allowed.
And then one day I had that moment when I was getting so tightly wrapped in that bubble to a point where I found myself getting suffocated. I should probably say that this happened a couple of months after my last blog. A couple of months after my last moment of glory – the day of my graduation. It was only a couple of months later that I found myself stressing about life again. I was (and still am) in full time employment and I had also signed up to study the LPC part time. I found this to be yet the next challenge in my life. The next challenge which was supposed to take me closer to the big Goal of being a lawyer. But yet again a few steps too far away from it.
And it got to the New Year’s eve celebrations when I found myself surrounded by all those people who have supported me through thick and thin and yet again I had somehow managed to drift away from them. And this is when I said enough is enough.
So unlike previous years when I had set myself the goal of securing a training contract, or getting a first class degree, my resolution for 2014 was somewhat different. I promised myself that I will spend this year expanding my social circle of friends. I promised myself that I will spend every day of my life being grateful for the things and the people that I have in my life. Because believe me, those are some amazing people. I promised myself that I will spend less time killing myself over whether or not I will get a distinction on the LPC. Because this is something which I will spend about 2 weeks being happy about.
This does not mean to say that I have given up on my goals or dreams. I am still aiming high and higher than ever. I am still determined to go all the way until I get to the top. In the meantime though, I would keep those around me closer than ever because after all they are what makes me happy day in and day out.
Finally, I have a dream… Other than becoming a solicitor that is. Remember the movie ‘What happens in Vegas’? There was this scene where Joy (Cameron Diaz) tells Jack (Ashton Kutcher) about the last time she was happy. It was when she got on a ferry and went to a lighthouse and walked on the beach all alone, no job worries, no commitments, no responsibilities. I wonder if this is at all possible…. Just for ONE day. No thoughts of tomorrow. No worries about the future. No deadlines to keep to.
Maybe some day….
Until then, remember… It is often the best things in life that are overlooked by the human eye. So pay attention to the small ‘insignificant’ things on the way to your ‘big goal’. One day you may turn back and realise, that those were indeed the big things in your life.